EPILEPSY

You smell that?
Smell what?
It’s like a weird gas odor..
Nah, ion smell that..
Whoa, I’m getting dizzy..
Man, sit down, you just tripping..
As my body begin to weaken, sweat beings to pour.. Not even in the blink of an eye, my body is on the floor.. Yes I’m having a seizure, but don’t try to contain me.. No don’t panic either, I might need you to save me.. Save me by making sure I don’t swallow my tongue, but turn me on my side if you can, until I’m done..
Don’t look at me like that.. I’m fine.
Are you sure? That kinda just blew my mind..
Yes I’m positive, I’ve been dealing with this since I was Six.. It’s a lot to handle but I manage, I’m use to being different..
What all do you deal with?
Well for starters, people & their shi… Hold up, excuse my French, but people & their negativity.. They be all cool at first but then panic when I tell them I have epilepsy.. Epilepsy is more than just seizures.. I have random mood swings, and sleep a lot in my leisure.. Some days I’m depressed for no apparent reason.. Some days I forget things, simple things, it’s a constant war between my body & brain.. I feel like life has committed treason.. It’s a lot to deal with but I’m thankful for my life.. So don’t feel sorry for me, nor treat me different.. Just smile, live life, and continue to get to know me..

Who Needed Who?


I was good on my own, that’s the way it was.. But you’re constantly hitting me up on some faded love.. It’s funny how you’re telling everybody that I was just another nigga on the hit list.. But the nights that you call crying saying you want me back are endless.. I find it funny how you’re telling everyone that I needed you but in reality you needed me.. Baby don’t get it twisted, I’m still the top nigga on yo wish list.. Tryna fix yo inner issues by being a bad bitch.. Half naked for media, stunting, girl you’re falling below average.. Yeah Ima savage but I turned it off for you.. Treated you to steak & lobster, white horses & carriages, not bragging but I guess that didn’t mean shit to you.. I would have never imagined.. That we would have ended So tragic.. Who Needed Who? You needed me.. Feelings? Ion have anymore, so I give a little less.. But what you are saying about me isn’t anything to stress.. Dirty air? I’m just clearing it up.. Middle fingers? They stay up.. Break it down like a fraction, there will never be another us.. I ain’t gone lie, i use to trip off that shit you was kicking to me while the whole time you wasn’t even truly fucking with me.. Got you a fuckboy, that ain’t bout shit.. You realize what you had, now you calling me, trying to make things right, girl quit.. You want me back? Are you serious? That’ll never happen again, girl you’re hilarious.. 

Dying Love

I once heard a wise man say.. 

“Actions speak louder than words, so don’t tell me shit”..

But then I heard a fool turn around and say,

 “I “act” out those actions you desire, but don’t mean one ounce of that shit”..

I was appalled by the “fool’s” comment.. Because it dawned on me that he actually made sense.. 

We live in a world where everyone broadcast what they want & think they need.. So we tend to be fooled & fall for fake love & crazy goals we see on our news feed..

Left in confusion & hating love.. We no longer wanna be a victim so we say “fuck love”.. Everyone just wants something genuine but fear getting played.. So having hoes & fake emotions tend to become the new thang.. So many hearts & minds involved.. But what troubles me the most is that instead of having standards, we jus let what we deserve, dissolve.. We set ourselves up for failure, & make it the norm to post quotes that we have on standby.. Why not be truthful with people, let me know you ain’t about shit, instead of building on lies.. 

 But that’s jus wishful thinking in today’s world.. 

My Rihanna (Poem)

   

 My Rihanna.. 
She a Good Girl Gone Bad & Unapologetic for her actions & the words that she speak man.. She was looking for a Rude Boy, so I had to keep it together, I couldn’t be weak man.. I approached her & it all started when she asked me What’s My Name.. I stuttered a little bit but quickly recovered with a joke so she wouldn’t categorize me with the other lames.. Months go by, even a year then two.. I saw her as My Rihanna, but she saw me as just her dude.. I knew she was a Good Girl Gone Bad, but I was willing to take that chance.. I can’t even lie, in the back of my head.. I was wondering if she was gonna Stay or be Unfaithful.. She might act like she is in love but I mean its twenty-sixteen, so was she gonna Stay or be Unfaithful.. Everything going right, deep conversations turned into all all night/early mornings in my California King Bed.. Everything going right, but I still had that “Unfaithful” fear in the back of my head.. I couldn’t even front, I was in love.. She was the Only Girl, the Only Girl in my eyes.. She shined bright like Diamonds, like Diamonds in the skies.. It was great in the beginning but now its like why? Handled everything that she threw my way, trying to pass every test.. But it was like every move I made was deadly, our love became a game of Russian Roulette.. She my Rihanna.. I fell in love with a Good Girl Gone Bad & she lived Unfaithful.. Heart broken but addicted to a Good Girl Gone Bad… someone please help… 
I need Rehab………